A Letter to My Son on His 6th Birthday

Dear Ashagre,

I know that I have only been your mommy for five and a half months, but I want to tell you that the space you occupy in my heart is immense.  Since that bright November day in Addis when I held you for the first time, you and I have clicked.  That evening as I trudged back through the diesel-smoke choked streets over the hill to our hotel without you tore me to pieces.  Leaving you at the guesthouse after spending five days together during our court trip made me feel like I was loosing my mind.  I could hardly enjoy my adventures with daddy as we explored Sidama because all I could think about was your smell (olive oil in your hair) and your warm little body nestled into my lap.  Snuggling close to you in the hotel room in Awasa during our second night together as a family of three - as close as you could get - and watching you drift peacefully off to sleep while rubbing my arm filled me with a joy I had never experienced before.

Don't worry.  I know that I need to earn my title as your mommy.  I do not take for granted the fact that your first mom loved you for years before I even glimpsed your picture.  I thank her (and your first dad) daily for loving you so deeply in the earliest years of your life.  Because of their love, I believe, you came to our family open and oh so ready to start building loving bonds anew.  I will always honor your Ethiopian parents and thank them for the opportunity to raise and love you.

Parenting you and Elsa these past five and a half months has been one of the hardest things I have ever done, but also one of the most rewarding.  Watching you experience a whole new world with your eyes wide open, a soft smile on your face, and your easily-elicited happy dance has been so much fun.  Even on the days that we don't see eye to eye and that stubborn streak your relatives warned us about comes into play are good days because of your ability to move on and let things go, to make things right, and come back for another hug.

You have grown so much since coming to live with us in Ventura.  Not only are you taller and heavier (I can't believe I carried you everywhere during our time together in Ethiopia before we came home), but you are stronger and more coordinated.  I love watching you ride your scooter as fast as you can through the neighborhood; you do it with such comfort and ease.  You are so close to learning how to swim and I can't wait to watch you learn how to use the new boogie board we got you for your birthday.

Now, at age six, you are obsessed with fire trucks, cars, and garbage trucks.  You love legos and can spend hours building complex airplanes, helicopters, and other vehicles. You really enjoy books and will spend hours looking at them and "reading" them to Elsa.  You also love to play parents with Elsa and your sock monkeys; you especially like to pretend that your monkeys are in trouble.  It's a nice reminder to mommy and daddy what we must sound like to you sometimes as we demand that you to get something done and move on to the next task.  You also love to be outside, especially at the beach, where you like to jump in and kick at the waves and dig in the sand.  While you recently have begun telling us you don't like school, you take great pride in your school work. Your handwriting is very neat.  You often finish your homework packet a few days before its due and almost always get it right.  You are excited to tell me about your day's adventures each day when I pick you up from school.  You are a super adventurous eater that will try anything.  It's kind of silly, but I take pride in the fact that you can go shake for shake with me and the bottle of hot sauce, or spicy, as you call it.

Ashagre, you are a thoughtful and caring boy with an open heart and a warm smile. I have had so much fun being your mommy over the past five and a half months.  I can't wait to see what the next year brings.  Happy Birthday!

Love,
Mommy