Why Can't Our Family Live Closer?

Making music (at least that's what they called it) with Uncle Trent.

It Started With An Olive

Ashagre is an adventurous eater.  He will and does try anything.  Tonight at dinner I had some olives on my plate and he wanted to try one.  When he popped it in his mouth recognition quickly washed over his face and a grin spread from ear to ear.  He remembered the first time he tried an olive and happily began telling us about it.

We remembered it too.  Brent and I had bought some green olives for a snack in Ethiopia when we traveled to Sidama to meet Ashagre's relatives.  We opened them up and ate them on the way back to Addis after an intense couple of days down south.  Ashagre was tired, emotionally exhausted, and a wee bit grumpy but still interested in trying new foods.  I don't remember exactly how it happened but an olive ended up floating around in his water bottle and he continued to drink his water, floating olive and all, until he fell asleep in our laps in the back of the car.

It is so wonderful to finally have enough shared language to converse with our children.  Ashagre went on for the rest of dinner, completely ignoring his food, recounting our first few days together as a family of three before we picked up Elsa and became a family of four.  He remembered the most minute details of our trip to Sidama together.  I could feel his relief and growing excitement as his impressions and memories poured out of him.  

Now don't get me wrong, we're not having deep, emotionally packed conversations here - we didn't touch the visit with his relatives at all - the kids' English isn't quite there yet.  At this point its more like nostalgic stories of times past.  But the fact that we have a past together, a past that took place a little over three months ago when all four of us took the biggest leap of our lives to date, and that we can sit around the dinner table and talk and laugh about it feels pretty dang good.

I am LOVING my family these days.

I can't get enough of my loving little boy from Sidama.

Little Fish

It's official.  Brent and I have a couple of little fish on our hands.

Sunday Brent's dad Mark, his wife Brenda, and their son Trent (Uncle Trent, that is) flew into California for a visit.  It was great seeing them; the kids really had a lot of fun while they were here and especially seemed to enjoy getting to know their four year old uncle.  The Safranskis brought some wonderful gifts for the kids, including t-shirts from Brent's college, Iowa State, a dinosaur t-shirt for Ashagre that matched one Trent had, a pretty dress for Elsa (picked out by Trent), and harmonicas.  By far though, the best present of all was a set of water wings for each kid and an opportunity to learn to swim at the Marriott pool.

We signed the kids up for swim lessons a few weeks ago, but couldn't get them in until the end of June.  We have been mentally preparing them by talking about swimming and looking at pictures of people swimming on the computer.  They have been pretty excited to give it a shot for a while now and jumped at the opportunity.  Quite a change from the two kiddos that refused, complete with hysterical crying, to come within 25 feet of the Hilton pool in Addis Ababa in February.  Ashagre did mention that he felt a little scared as we drove toward the motel, but he sure didn't let it hold him back once he got there.

Here's a few pictures from our first day at the pool.  We spent more time there this evening before dinner.    Unfortunately, we only have pictures of the first few minutes after we arrived at the pool and then a couple hours later after we got out.  The rest of the time both Brent and I were in the pool with the kids and couldn't take pictures.  All I can say is that in a few short hours they went from excitedly timid about getting in the water to happily moving through the water hanging on to Mommy or Daddy to swimming independently to eagerly jumping into the pool and fully submerging.  Both kids love holding their breath and putting their faces in the water.  They have the beginnings of a doggie-paddle down, can float on their backs and generally LOVE to swim.  I have a feeling they would swim all day given the opportunity.

Testing the water.

Feels pretty good.

Cautiously getting in.

I so wish I had some pictures from the next few hours in the pool.  I think Grandpa Safranski probably has some; maybe we can get him to send us some after they return to Iowa.  One of the most amazing and inspiring aspects of parenting older internationally adopted children is watching them take on so many new experiences and challenges.  You literally get to watch major growth unfold right before your eyes.  We witnessed Elsa and Ashagre facing their fears of a totally new experience and tackling them head on.  Any fear they had of the pool or swimming was definitely left lifeless at the bottom of the deep end by the time we finally ordered them out to warm up.  The comfort they gained in the water in such a short time had Mommy, Daddy, Grandma, and Grandpa alike grinning from ear to ear with awe and pride.

Relaxing poolside in the sun after a long day's swimming.

Sharing a moment with Uncle Trent.

Looks like we'll be visiting the swim center way before swim lessons start at the end of June.

Last (and First) Game of the Season

Saturday Ashagre played his last baseball game of the season and Elsa played her first (and last).  Elsa was invited to be an honorary member of the Tigers, as she had been to every practice - participating in quite a few toward the end.  She was SO excited, especially because she got to wear a real Tigers uniform, and she did really well.

When our friends asked if Elsa and Ashagre might want to come down and check out a baseball practice only a month after arriving in America from Ethiopia we were skeptical that it was a good idea, but decided to give it a shot anyway.  All the adoption literature we read prior to bringing the kids home suggested throwing the kids into a new challenge like this would be too much for them to handle.  The whole thing was pretty overwhelming to Elsa, but Ashagre really seemed to have a good time so we decided to sign him up and suit him up for the next game.  We always said that we would stop playing baseball if it became too much for him.  It never did.

In fact, he has grown so much because of baseball.  Through baseball he learned to be comfortable interacting with other adults other than Mommy and Daddy (thanks to the awesome and encouraging coaches, Greg, Ryan, and Mark).  He learned how to watch his teammates, learn from them, and have fun with them.  He learned how to be part of a team.  Not to mention he learned how to hit the ball pretty well (you should have seen his last hit of the season), run faster, and throw even further and more accurately.

Baseball has been a huge confidence builder for both kids, and I am really glad that we took a chance and gave them the opportunity to play.  Just look at Elsa's smile when she's up to bat - it says it all.

Warming up before the game. 

Ashagre took the end of the bench away from all the others at the beginning
of  the season too.   At the end, he was right in the middle of his teammates. 

Waiting for her turn to bat.

Fielding - like 5 and 6 year olds field.

Pep talk from Coach Greg.

Running the bases with some pointers from Coach Mark.

As always, her smile had the entire bleacher section melting.

Someone's pretty proud to be on base after a good hit.

Ashagre hit the ball and was off running so quickly I
hardly got him in the frame of the picture.

Go Tigers!

End of the season congratulations and praise from Coach Greg.

This Is How Our Garden Grows

The only thing growing faster than Ashagre around these parts is our garden (little Ethiopians added for scale reference and added cuteness).

I don't think Ashagre will be catching up with his corn now,
but once he eats all the tasty ears I'm sure he'll grow even more.

We've been eating sweet strawberries for weeks, and look at that squash!

Just add a little love and some good food and watch 'em grow.

Can't wait for fresh tomato, basil, and mozzarella!

First Camping Trip

Saturday night we took the kids on their first camping trip.  It was totally last minute and rushed (brunch in the morning with good friends, followed by A's baseball game and lunch = leaving the house to camp at 5 PM), but a great time nonetheless.

Our friend Jill (and her kiddo Ziggy) invited us to go camping at a campground about 45 minutes from Ventura a few days prior; we were on the fence about going up until the last minute.  I still had a horrible cough, rain was in the forecast, and, as mentioned above, our Saturday was pretty busy.

We kept things as simple as possible.  We didn't even bring a tent.  We told the kids that we would be going camping an hour or so before we started putting things together.  We packed up the bus - warm clothes, firewood, scooters, snacks, tortillas, beans and rice for dinner - and headed out.

The kids had SO much fun.  They loved riding their scooters around the loop in front of our campsite, enjoyed the crystal clear creek, played hours of beach ball volley ball with Mommy, and read magazines in the bus until they just couldn't stay awake any longer and passed out.  A few hours later, we wedged ourselves in the bus on the outside of our soundly sleeping kiddos just in time for the rain to start.  It was definitely cozy with all four of us in the bus, but that just added to the fun.

It was wet the next morning when we woke up so we casually packed things up and headed back home with enough time to take care of most of our usual Sunday obligations (groceries, house cleaning, etc.).  All in all, I think the short trip was a great introduction to camping.  The kids have already agreed that they want to go again and that next time we need to bring a tent and the dogs.

All loaded up in the bus and excited to go.

Our campsite (and Ziggy and his dog Chulo).

Cooking dinner.

Post-dinner group photo.

First roasted marshmallow (no intention of eating it).

First roasted marshmallow (no intention of eating it).

Daddy sings songs by the campfire.

Snuggle time by the fire.

Elsa was really digging the fireside snuggles.

All ready for bed.

About A Girl

Those of you that read Our Perfect Space regularly might have noticed, if you were really paying attention, that I tend to write less about Elsa than Ashagre.  The truth is, my relationship with Elsa hasn’t come as easily as it has with the snuggly little man.  

During our first few days as a family of four in Ethiopia Elsa completely rejected me.  If I attempted to engage her in anyway, other than serve her food, she would look me right in the eyes, turn her chin toward her shrugging left shoulder (anyone that has adopted an Ethiopian child older than 5 – maybe younger too – knows this cutting, infuriating, often accompanied by the word umbi, gesture) and walk quickly away.  I tried not to take it personally and to remember that she had no reason to trust or want to interact with me so early in our relationship, but I have to admit it brought me to quiet, lonely tears on more than one occasion.

Even after several months home our relationship was really challenging.  While she no longer pushed me away we really weren’t drawn to each other either.  Honestly, there were days where, in the moment, I had a hard time appreciating her in even the most basic sense.  It’s not that I disliked her or couldn’t care for her daily needs, but I really felt no connection to her.  I suspect she felt similarly about me.  If allowed a moment or two, I could always step back from our day-to-day interactions, remember her story, and appreciate where she was coming from and how hard it must be for her to all of a sudden have a mommy when she had never really had one before.  Things were pretty tough though.  I actually have written more posts about Elsa, but, thankfully, I had Brent read them before I posted them and took his advice to maybe leave them off the internet.

Well, I am writing now because three months have gone by and things have changed.  Time and hard work on both of our parts has resulted in a blossoming mother-daughter relationship.  Some serious relationship testing and fortifying put both of us to the test (and will likely continue to test us in the future).  Now, Elsa seeks me out for comfort, hugs, and sweet kisses daily, and it warms my heart to reciprocate.  When I think of Elsa’s physical strength and coordination and her bright, inquisitive mind, I can’t help but beam with pride.  When I think about her spunky spirit and nearly-ever-present-ultra-radiant smile, I can’t help but grin myself.  And her laugh?  Well, that would make anyone’s day more sublime.

Of course, her growing relationship with Mommy
doesn't lessen her Daddy's-girl status in the least.

Shake Your Booty

Two posts in one day?  I know, but I just couldn't resist getting this up tonight.

Elsa, LOVES to dance and listen to music, especially Michael Franti.  A few weeks ago her dad taught her how to shake her booty and she's been (literally) shaking it all over town ever since.  As we walk in to Target I hear, "shake your booty" and watch as she stops in the middle of the store's entry way to shake it... as we head to the doctor's office to take her medicine, "shake your booty"... as we're leaving school, "shake your booty."

So here's a little video of a booty-shaking pre-bath dance party.  Enjoy!

Family Photo

Yesterday we had our next door neighbor help us out with an impromptu family photo session.  The kids have officially been home 3 months (update coming soon, assuming I can find the time to write it), which means we need to send our first family report to our adoption agency.  (Reports sent to Ethiopia so the government and any surviving relatives can keep track of how the children are doing since being adopted.)  These reports are supposed to contain at least one picture of the entire family together.

As of yet, we have been unable to get a picture of all 4 of us together.  So, we had the kids put on some nicer clothes and knocked on the neighbor’s door.  Here’s the result (my favorite take).  

I think it sums up our family pretty nicely.  Elsa and Ashagre’s expressions capture their personalities and their relationship with one another perfectly.  Brent is tired (he’s been pulling extra weight the past few weeks as I try to recover from a draining, never-ending cough) and desperately needs a haircut but has had zero time to get one.  And I do my best to keep a cool, collected outer appearance while I frantically try to keep the whole unit functioning in my head.  Lots of fun and a whole lotta love.

Maybe for the 6 month report we’ll consider getting some professional photos taken.

Comb Out

I've really been wanting to post a picture of the kids' hair since I started to comb it out.  It looks so good and feels so soft.  It really isn't that hard, and the kids like it when I do it.  I think it feels good to them too.

I took these pictures after our last bath night and comb out, but they didn't turn out good enough to really do it justice.  Oh well, they're cute kids so I'll post them anyway.

Elsa has great hair.  It's really soft with a uniform curl pattern.
I can't wait for it to get a little longer so I can start learning
how to style it.

Ashagre has lots of chunky texture - so cute (and great for
the dreadlocks we're planning once he grows another inch).
Luckily the extra coconut oil that ends up on his face is just
as good for his skin.

A captivating movie always makes the comb out no big deal and some
snuggle time afterwards makes it even better.  Obviously this one did the trick. 

Mother's Day Hike (Wordless)