About A Girl

Those of you that read Our Perfect Space regularly might have noticed, if you were really paying attention, that I tend to write less about Elsa than Ashagre.  The truth is, my relationship with Elsa hasn’t come as easily as it has with the snuggly little man.  

During our first few days as a family of four in Ethiopia Elsa completely rejected me.  If I attempted to engage her in anyway, other than serve her food, she would look me right in the eyes, turn her chin toward her shrugging left shoulder (anyone that has adopted an Ethiopian child older than 5 – maybe younger too – knows this cutting, infuriating, often accompanied by the word umbi, gesture) and walk quickly away.  I tried not to take it personally and to remember that she had no reason to trust or want to interact with me so early in our relationship, but I have to admit it brought me to quiet, lonely tears on more than one occasion.

Even after several months home our relationship was really challenging.  While she no longer pushed me away we really weren’t drawn to each other either.  Honestly, there were days where, in the moment, I had a hard time appreciating her in even the most basic sense.  It’s not that I disliked her or couldn’t care for her daily needs, but I really felt no connection to her.  I suspect she felt similarly about me.  If allowed a moment or two, I could always step back from our day-to-day interactions, remember her story, and appreciate where she was coming from and how hard it must be for her to all of a sudden have a mommy when she had never really had one before.  Things were pretty tough though.  I actually have written more posts about Elsa, but, thankfully, I had Brent read them before I posted them and took his advice to maybe leave them off the internet.

Well, I am writing now because three months have gone by and things have changed.  Time and hard work on both of our parts has resulted in a blossoming mother-daughter relationship.  Some serious relationship testing and fortifying put both of us to the test (and will likely continue to test us in the future).  Now, Elsa seeks me out for comfort, hugs, and sweet kisses daily, and it warms my heart to reciprocate.  When I think of Elsa’s physical strength and coordination and her bright, inquisitive mind, I can’t help but beam with pride.  When I think about her spunky spirit and nearly-ever-present-ultra-radiant smile, I can’t help but grin myself.  And her laugh?  Well, that would make anyone’s day more sublime.

Of course, her growing relationship with Mommy
doesn't lessen her Daddy's-girl status in the least.