One More Day of Work...

...and I will officially be a stay-at-home-momma (SAHM) for 3.5 months.  I am so excited!

And a bit nervous too.  You see, there was many a year that I was convinced I didn't even want to have kids.  I have always been pretty focussed on my education, my goals and aspirations, and then my career.  I just didn't envision staying at home with kids in my future.  Selfish?  Absolutely, but that's where I was at.  So, the sudden leap into stay-at-home-momma-hood is undoubtably a bit frightening.

Now don't take me the wrong way here.  I have SO MUCH respect for SAHM's, and am very jealous of women that are able to stay at home for more than a short period of time.  I in no way see my job as a Water Conservation Coordinator superior to the job of a SAHM.  In fact, I think my job is much easier.  It's certainly less emotionally draining and yields less responsibility.  I am pretty certain that I get more respect and acknowledgement for my hard work relative to the amount of work I put in than your typical SAHM does.  On top of that, I can generally choose when to give a little less of myself in order to make sure I stay healthy, sane, and happy.  I assume most SAHM's would argue they don't always have that privilege.

It's for these reasons exactly that I am a bit nervous about my impending new role.  Just like my current job, I want to do it right (not just right, but exceptionally right), but I feel like the stakes are higher.  I mean, we're talking about maintaining the well-being to two little individuals vs. merely the protecting the reliability of the water supply for a medium-sized southern California city.  Two individuals.  Two lives!  And there's no organization to create best management practices for me to measure my successes against, no boss to provide guidance or let me know when I've messed up, no graduate degree hanging on the wall as an indication in my proficiency in the subject of motherhood, and no professional association for me to bounce ideas off of (although you better not doubt I won't have plenty of questions for those of you that have done this mom thing before).  With such high stakes and so little guidance, how will I not drive myself crazy trying to get it just right?

Then there's just the day-to-day ins and outs of it all that causes me to wake up wide eyed and unable to go back to sleep at 4 am.  What am I going to prepare for them to eat?  It has to be nutritionally balanced,  yet appeal to their young Ethiopian taste buds.  What are we going to do during the day?  How do I balance the need to keep them in a calm and nurturing environment as they adjust to their new home/lives, while making sure they (we) don't die of boredom?  What about nap time?  They take naps now in Ethiopia but aren't going to be able to take them once they're in school here.  Do I try to match their old routine or prepare them for a new one?  Am I sure I have a good hair and skin care regime planned?  Will we be able to manage a trip to the beach or the park nearby without me losing one of them?  I'm not even going to attempt the grocery store.  Should I consider bringing the dogs too?  What do I do if both kids are having a meltdown at the same time?  Can I truly split myself in two and be there for both of them at once?  How do I practice hold-close parenting if one kid hurts the other (how do I comfort the hurt child while still keeping the offending child close to promote attachment?).  I could continue...believe me this is what my brain has been doing the past three very early mornings.

Then there is the family-career balance.  Remember those goals and aspirations I mentioned at the beginning of this post?  They're still around, except now there's a whole new set of them that revolve around Elsa and Ashagre on top of the ones I already had.  You would think that the family-career balance wouldn't be an immediate concern because I am, as I mentioned above, going to be an official SAHM for 3.5 months.  However, I have already caved to the (personally created) pressure to excel at my job.  I promised to work Mondays during my family leave time to keep my major projects moving (they will literally die in a mire of bureaucracy if I don't do this).  Furthermore, despite my resolve not to, I have already said that I might just be able to look at a few things once the kids are in bed or maybe take a few phone calls/answer a few emails throughout the day.  Yep, this family-career balance thing is going to be tricky for me.  I am really hoping that the arrival of the kids will help me draw a more definite line in the sand.  It's so easy to say yes when the family side of the family-career balancing act is being cared for in Ethiopia.

One of our best friends recently asked a good friend of his that had newly become a momma how her life had changed.  He expected to hear about the mountains of diaper changes and the lack of sleep and the loss of a personal identity.  Instead, the answer he received blew him away.  My life has become so much SIMPLER.  There is now only one thing that's important, one thing that matters.  It's the well-being of my baby.  Life's decisions are now easy to handle.  If the decision will make the baby's life better than its the right decision.  If it's not in the best interest of my child then its not important or the wrong decision.  It's that simple.  I only hope that I can find such clarity.

Our airline tickets arrived in the mail today.

Our accommodation is booked and our travel insurance is purchased.

Our bags of donations have been weighed and measured and won't violate the airline's baggage policy.

One more day of work.

Four more days until we board a plane for Dubai.

Six more days until we see our kids again knowing that, this time, we won't have to say goodbye.

A New Year: Clean Couches, Colorful Names, & Welcome Books

For the past couple of weeks I have been having a hard time doing anything related to preparing for Ashagre and Elsa’s homecoming, despite the fact that there is still a sizeable list of things I would like to get done prior to their arrival. I think I have just been missing the kids so much that it is too hard to think about them as I take care of whatever needs to be done on the list.

However, it’s now a new year and (hopefully) the month we will get to travel to bring them home (if we travel at the end of the month, they might actually arrive home in February). On January 1st I woke up and started checking things off the list again. It felt pretty good.

First item on the list? Steam-cleaning the couches. Yep, that was my first accomplishment of 2011. I am not sure what that says about the rest of my upcoming year, but it sure is nice to have the couches free of dog grime again. We keep the couches covered and vacuum them weekly, but the dogs still manage to make them pretty gross over time. (Yes, we could probably just not allow them on the couches, but taking that right away once it’s been granted would be pretty tough – you should have seen Buster try to push his way into the living room so he could secure his favorite spot on a couch while we were waiting for them to dry. Plus, anyone that has had the privilege of snuggling with a snoring Pitbull on a cold evening knows the cleaning requirements are well worth it.) I am sure that Ashagre and Elsa won’t even notice the clean couches, but I can rest easy knowing they’ll have a clean place to play, lounge, and snuggle with their momma (and Buster and Lola).

I also finished painting the kids’ names for their room. They will be sharing a room for the time being (next major goal after completing the adoption: buy a house?), and I want to make sure they each have their own piece of space in that cozy and colorful room. I bought the letters and way too much paint at Michael's months ago. I nearly finished Elsa’s name, but then decided I didn’t like some orange stripes I had added and, instead of fixing the problem, just gave up completely. I hadn’t started on Ashagre’s name because we were waiting to make sure we had the spelling (and the pronunciation for that matter) right first. Last night I finished up all 11 letters. Now I just have to figure out where I want to hang them in their room.

It's hard to tell in this photo, but Elsa's name has turquoise dots on the
pink letters.

But the accomplishment I really wanted to write about tonight was the completion of the kids’ Welcome Books. Back in September you might remember that we sent the kids Welcome Bags that contained, among other things, small photo albums introducing ourselves and our home to the kids. The Welcome Books kind of stem from a similar idea. A lot of reading I have done on parenting adopted children suggests that you should help them understand what is going to happen next in their lives as much as possible. It makes sense. Children that have experienced instability or a lot of major transitions can feel pretty out of control of their lives. Prepared with the knowledge of what is going to happen to them next, they can relax and enjoy the present moment – something very necessary for bonding/attachment and just general well-being.

While Brent and I are ecstatic about the opportunity to finally bring the kids home we also realize that it will likely be a very scary and potentially traumatic experience for them. They will be traveling half-way around the world with two people they barely know who don’t look like them and speak a different language. They will be leaving the familiarity of their orphanages and the people who love and care for them there. When they arrive in America they will be expected to take in new sights, sounds, smells, food, routines, and people, among a whole host of other things.

Think of how tough and unsettling it can be for us as adults to travel to a foreign country and adjust to all the new experiences, even when we have made the conscious choice to do this (remember, this is coming from someone that loves to travel). Now imagine those same feelings we experience as adults from the perspective of a 5-6 year old child that really doesn’t even completely comprehend what is going on. While they know that we are their new parents and that they will be coming to live with us in America, I really can’t even begin to imagine that they understand what that reality will look and feel like.

I put the Welcome Books together to give Elsa and Ashagre a simple, visual understanding of the trip and their new lives in Ventura. Each kid has their own book, unique to them. I hope to be able to have someone at the orphanage read them to them at least once in Amharic so they understand the story. Then I plan on pulling them out throughout our trip home (all 20+ hours of it) so they can follow along as events unfold. I am hoping they will find some comfort in their ability to recognize pieces of their new lives from the books. Hopefully it will take some of the scary surprise of the whole adventure away.

Here is a sample of some of the pages (sorry if the pictures are formatted a little funny. They weren't easy to pull off of Snapfish).

Introductory Pages:

Elsa's Welcome Home Book.  Left Page: We had A LOT of fun playing with
you in Ethiopia.  Right Page: While we were in Ethiopia we also spent
time playing with your new brother, Ashagre.

Ashagre's Welcome Home Book: Similar text as above.

Left Page: We had to fly back to America to wait until we could visit
Ethiopia again and bring you home with us.  Waiting without you was
hard.  Right Page: Very soon you will travel to America with us.  The
airplane ride is very long, but we can play games, watch movies, listen
to music, eat and sleep.

Sample "Story" Pages:

Left Page: This is our car.  When we get off the second airplane we
will drive the car to our house.  Right Page: We live in Ventura,
California near the beach.

Left Page: This is our house.  It will be your new home.  Right
Page: This is our living room.  It is the first room you see when you enter the house.

Left Page: We have chickens that live in our backyard.  They lay lots of
yummy eggs for us to eat.  Right Page: We also have two very friendly
dogs.  They will be excited to play with you.  This is Lola.  She's a girl.
She loves it when you snuggle with her and pet her.  This is Buster.  He's
a boy.  He really likes it when you throw the ball for him.

Closing Page:

Ashagre's Closing Page: We know it might be scary moving to a new house
with a new mom and dad and sister.  We will do our best to help you adjust
to your new life.  We are your parents.  We will take care of you.  WE LOVE
YOU VERY MUCH.

Elsa's Closing Page: Text similar to that above.

I hope these books help make the kids' transition just a little bit smoother.  It was pretty fun making them.  I can't wait to see the finished product.

If, for any reason, you want to check out one of the books in its entirety, you can check out Elsa's by following this link.

30 Pairs of Shoes, 24 PJ's and 38 Pairs of Socks

The donations continue to roll in.  My dad just generously donated his Christmas bonus to the supply drive for Layla House, and my Grandma Ruby contributed as her Christmas present to Brent and me.  I still have some money left over from the donations, so I'll likely go back to the VANS outlet and pick up some more shoes (buy one get one half off plus I have coupons for an extra $40 off).

The kids at Layla are going to have some pretty stylin' kicks...

We're still collecting shoe, sock, and PJ donations until we leave for Ethiopia (date TBD, but hopefully in late January)!

Sledding in 80 Degree Weather: Kid Shower #1

Last weekend our friends Laura, Christoph, Laurie, and Chris threw us a wonderful kid shower in a park near our house - Arroyo Verde.  We picked the right weekend, because the weekend before and the current weekend were/are cold and rainy.  Last Saturday was sunny and in the 80's - a perfect day for a potluck in the park.

When we arrived we found tons of clothes strung between two trees and a picnic table full of food and flowers.  Most of our friends started arriving shortly after we did, and the day was really great - good friends, good conversations, and adorable kiddos.  It was really fun for Brent and I because we finally got to introduce some of our newer Ventura friends to our longtime Catalina Island friends.  Everyone seemed to enjoy each other's company, and we promised to all get together again.

On a whim, one family brought ice blocks, and the boys enjoyed ice blocking down the grassy hills at the park.  Who says an 80 degree December day in southern California isn't a good time to go sledding?

Here are some pictures from a great day.

We also got to meet Baby O for the first time!

This kid's got so much style.  We adore him and are
so excited that he is the same age as Elsa & Ashagre.

Ashagre and Elsa made out with some adorable clothes and some great gifts, but even more importantly they have a great group of friends ready to love and support them when they finally arrive in California.

24 PJ's, $20, 38 Pairs of Socks and Approximately 20 Pairs of Shoes and Counting

Over the past week our friends and colleagues have thrown us some wonderful "kid showers" (pictures from one kid shower, including "sledding" in California in 80 degree weather to come soon).  Besides the opportunity to relish in the excitement of our growing family with some of our favorite people, our kid showers have already greatly benefitted Ashagre and Elsa's friends in Ethiopia.  Combined with a few donations from friends answering the call in my past blog post, the showers have generated the above supplies (plus many more shoes that I couldn't fit on the bed) for the kids living at Layla House.

Many thanks to our thoughtful kid shower hosts and hostesses: Laura, Laurie, Chris E., Trish, Barbara, Terry and Sandie!  Also a huge thanks to everyone that has provided PJ's, shoes, and socks for our supply drive!

If you would like to add to the pile on Elsa's bed, feel free to send your supplies - PJs, shoes, and socks - our way.  It's looking like we won't be traveling back to Ethiopia until the end of January at the earliest so there is still plenty of time.

2.5 Weeks...

Until we land in Addis Ababa and meet our handsome boy and our gorgeous little girl!  It's official.  We bought the plane tickets today!  We are staying in Ethiopia for 3 weeks!  Our court date happened to fall right in between a couple of City holidays, which means I have extra paid time off (paid holidays) and we can stay an additional week.

We must get packing and arrange the rest of our travel plans...

To Do

So, I have mentioned that I have been a bit depressed lately with the lack of any news on our adoption and a lack of things to do to keep the adoption moving forward. Depression, especially as it relates to the adoption process, is a funny thing because one of the best things you can do to alleviate it is to stay busy; however, when you are feeling depressed it is really hard to motivate to do anything – creating a self-perpetuating cycle of sorts. I have been having a pretty hard time doing anything other than what is required of me and sleeping lately.

In attempt to give myself some accountability and motivate myself to do things to help pass time while we wait to find out when our court date will be…and then to wait for our court date to arrive…and then to wait for our embassy appointment so we can finally bring our kids home, I am posting a To Do list on this blog. On this list are things I can (and should) do before our kids come home so that I can be a better parent once they finally arrive. While not directly related to speeding the process along, at least these things are related to the kids and/or the adoption. I am sure that I cannot concentrate on or motivate to do much of anything that is not adoption-related – it is a daily battle for me at work right now (fortunately work is pretty busy, so I don’t have much choice but to trudge along and get things done).

My To Do List:

• Sew Asegre’s and Elsa’s heavy babies
• Sew Asegre and Elsa silk pillowcases (reduces damage to kinky hair)
• Finish decorating the kids’ room
• Read adoption books (listed in case you are interested in the world of adoption reading)
1. The Connected Child: Bring Hope and Healing to Your Adoptive Family – Karyn Purvis
2. Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew – Sherrie Eldridge
3. Raising Adopted Children: Practical Reassuring Advice for Every Adoptive Parent – Lois Ruskai Melina (In Progress)
4. Are Those Kids Yours? American Families with Children Adopted from Other Countries – Cheri Register (In Progress)
5. Attaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Today’s Parents – Deborah D. Gray
6. Attachment Focused Parenting: Effective Strategies to Care For Children – Daniel A. Hughes
7. Making Sense of Adoption: A Parent’s Guide – Lois Ruskai Melina
• Finish adoption training
• Research hair care products/methods
• Learn Amharic for adoptive families
• Come up with questions for the kids’ caretakers 
• Consider answers to common Ethiopian court questions
• Research additional adoption grant funding sources
• Figure out and organize a fundraiser for AAI
• Plan and plant a winter vegetable garden (gotta love living in southern California!)

This weekend includes an “off Friday” for me – working for the City I work longer days and then, as a result, get every other Friday off (not a furlough). Brent will be out of town through Monday night for the Hardly Strictly Bluegrass Festival in San Francisco (I can’t go because I can’t take Monday off). It should be a perfect opportunity to practice motivating to get things done on the above list and keeping a positive perspective on this whole process. Luckily it seems there is plenty for me to do. Feel free to check in on me and see how its going – your prying just might help keep me on track.

Exploring Ethiopia

Sorry for the lack of posts recently. There is no new news to report – still just waiting for a court date – and I have to admit that I have been feeling a bit depressed (just minor though). I am not the most patient person, and I am especially bad about waiting for something when I feel like there is nothing I can do to work toward getting whatever I am waiting for done faster. I am trying to stay busy to keep from getting too bummed out. There is definitely plenty to do.

Anyway, while we wait we have been trying to figure out what type of traveling we would like to do in Ethiopia during each of our two trips, so I thought I would share a bit about our forming plans. We feel very strongly that we need to explore Ethiopia some before we bring the kids home. It will help us have a better understanding of who they are and where they came from. Plus, we will be flying half way around the world twice and we can’t pass up the opportunity to take a look around Ethiopia after such a long flight.

The tough thing is balancing our need/want to travel in Ethiopia with our strong desire to spend as much time as possible with our kids. I have been speaking with our agency’s social worker to try and figure out what is recommended in terms of the amount of contact we have with the kids, especially during the first trip, where we will have to say goodbye and come back to the States for a few months. She told me that since they are under 7, we should limit our contact to a few short visits (a few hours) over a few days. At their developmental stage, if they become too attached to us, they will have a hard time coping with us leaving when we have to go home and may even feel abandoned (again) – even if the situation is explained clearly to them. So, we are thinking that we will do most of our traveling during the first trip so we can jump in and be parents on the second trip (when we won’t be abandoning them, but instead taking them home).

Recently we asked my mom to join us on the first trip. She has been hinting for a while that she would really like to see where the kids are from, and there is no way we could deny her or our kids that opportunity. We are very excited to have her join us in Ethiopia!

Ethiopia is a gorgeous country with a long, rich history. It is currently vying with Kenya for the title of the birth place of civilization. I know it is not on the top of most peoples’ list of future travel destinations, but it really should be. There is A LOT to see and it is a safe, inexpensive country to get around. The tourist trail is definitely not well established in Ethiopia, and amenities can be a bit hard to come by outside of Addis Ababa, but the sights seem very much worth it (and Brent and I don’t place too much value on amenities anyway). If there is any sort of traditional tourist route, it follows a circuit to the north of Addis Ababa and includes:

• the palm fringed resort town of Bahir Dar on the shores of Lake Tana with its centuries-old island monasteries,
• Gonder with extensive ruins of 17th century castles, 
• trekking in the wildlife-packed highlands of the Simien Mountains National Park,
• the ancient city of Askum with pre-Christian tombs buried underground under 1800 year old stelae,
• and the Country’s crown historical attraction: Lalibela, which features 11 rock-hewn churches from the 12th and 13th centuries.

We would love to see all of these places and originally put together an itinerary that included a large majority of them; however, we have now learned quite about traveling in the Sidama region of southern Ethiopia, where Asegre is from, and have shifted our priorities to really learning as much as we can about our kids’ place of origin. So, instead, we have put together an itinerary that focuses primarily on the Sidama Zone and Addis Ababa (where Elsa is from), with a night or two in Lalibela thrown in there because we absolutely can’t miss it.

We haven’t exactly nailed down what we will do when (first vs. second trip, in what order etc.), but these are the things we would like to do.

• Awasa is both the capital of the Southern Nations, Nationalities and Peoples’ region and the Sidama Zone. It lies on the edge of Lake Awasa, one of Ethiopia’s Rift Valley Lakes. It doesn’t actually sound like there is much to do there, except stroll near the lake and visit the fish market, but it’s location makes it a nice logical stop for a night as we venture south of Addis.
• The Aregash Lodge is an eco-tourist “resort” located very near where Asegre grew up (as far as we can tell from our study of maps of the region) in Yirga Alem. Tourists stay in gorgeous traditional huts that have been outfitted to be comfortable by western standards. The resort is situated among local villages and visitors can tour the countryside and learn how the Sidama people live.
• Just south of the town of Dila (about an hour south of the Aregash Lodge) are two of southern Ethiopia’s most important stelae fields – Tutu Fella and Tututi. The large grave stones are intricately carved. This will probably be a day trip from the Aregash Lodge.
• Horse trekking with the Dodola Eco-tourism Tour Guide Association outside of Bale National Park. Bale NP is northeast of where Asegre grew up. It is known for its wildlife more than any other park in Ethiopia. The horse trekking trips can be 3 or more days long. Basically, you hire horses and a guide and ride from hut to hut along a circuit in forested highlands. There is no way that I can do this experience justice trying to describe it. Check out the Association’s slideshow here.
• Sites of Addis Ababa, including the National Museum (home to Lucy, the “missing link”), the Natural History Museum (supposedly one of the best in Africa), the Merkato (a HUGE market where you can buy anything from trinkets to guns to camels), and some sights related to Elsa’s origins. We will also be able to pick up souvenirs in Addis and go to a cultural dinner show. Of course, the most important visits will be with our kids.
• Lalibela. Check out these pictures and you’ll see why we can’t miss it. The intricate churches were literally carved out of the ground. We’ll probably just grab a quick flight out of Addis and stay for a night or two.

So, that’s about it (this post is certainly long enough). We’ll keep you posted as our plans take shape. We are SO excited to go to Ethiopia – hence the difficulty in being patient while waiting for our court date.

Stuff

Ok, so I feel uneasy posting this here, but many of you have asked what we need for the kids, and the fact is that Brent and I are on a rapid path toward first time parenthood and are quickly realizing that we are going to have to grow our collection of stuff to accommodate our adorable kiddos.  Not to say that kids need stuff to be happy, but there are some things that will make their lives more comfortable and, of course, will be fun to have.

So, I am writing this post to share what we need (or would like) as we get ready for the kids’ homecoming.  I am DEFINITELY NOT creating this post to guilt you into purchasing anything for Asegre and Elsa.  I am just putting it on the blog because several people have asked and many of those people have access to the blog.  Please only purchase something for the kids if you wish to do so – your love and support of our family is the most important thing you can provide to all of us. 

To make things easier, I hope, I created a “wish list” on amazon.com.  You can access it HERE.  Note that we can add comments by the items.  I have tried to make clear what items are a high priority – in terms of need.  Of course, these are the more practical, less fun items.  You can also access the wish list directly through amazon.com’s website – it is under my name (Dakota Corey).

We are VERY open to used items and/or hand-me-downs; please do not feel bashful about a used gift.

There are 4 categories of things that I did not add to the registry, but that we would very much appreciate to receive:

• Clothes

• Books (minus some adoption and race-specific books listed on the amazon wish list)

• Children’s DVDs: Apparently Asegre loves cartoons, but kid movies/shows would be great too.  We don’t have a TV, but we do have a computer that plays DVDs.  We don’t want to let the kids watch DVDs very often, but have been told by MANY parents that both the kids and us will appreciate the down time once and a while.

• Children’s music

We would be happy to receive any of these items.  From what I can tell by their weights and heights, both of the kids are currently a size 5T or 5 right now.  They will likely grow very quickly once they come home – this is typical of internationally adopted children.

Honestly, as first time parents, we are also very open to suggestions/ideas from people that have parented 5 year olds before. 

A note about toys: The kids have a high chance of being behind developmentally on many different levels (emotionally & physically – size, motor skills).  This is also very common in internationally adopted children.  Certain types of play will help them catch up, and some toys encourage beneficial play more than others.  The kids will benefit from active play (balance, fine and gross motor skills), imaginative play (playing house, dress up, imitating grown up activities, etc.), and play that is stimulating to the senses (think water, sand, taste, art projects, different textures, etc.).  Toys that encourage these types of play will help them develop to their full potential.

A note about marketing: Brent and I are going to try (we know it’s likely a losing battle) to not inundate our children with characters developed mainly as a marketing mechanism targeted at kids (Spiderman, Toy Story, Dora, Bob the Builder, Barbie, etc….).  If you could help us out by trying to purchase more generic toys and clothes that don’t feature these characters we would really appreciate it.  (No judgment toward anyone that doesn’t mind these types of toys and clothes for their kids – it’s just our goal for right now.)

Again, Brent and I would like to reiterate that this is not a solicitation.  We are just putting the information out there for those that have been wanting it.

Pictures of the Kids' Room!

My last post was a bit dreary.  Here is something much more cheery (cheesy rhyme not intended, but I decided to go with it).

A couple pictures of the kids' room!  It's definitely not done and doesn't quite feel comfy yet, but it is cute and bright.

A small but colorful space.

Elsa's bed.

Asegre's bed.

 
And, so you can better understand some of my stress, the before picture.  Most of this stuff is now in the middle of our living room!

 Off to work...

Adoption Fatigue?

I stayed home from work today.  I couldn't sleep last night and felt awful this morning.  I was in bed all night, wide awake, with a slight sensation of anxiety.  For whatever reason, I could not stop replaying a scenario in my head in which we could not adopt either Elsa or Asegre (we had to choose) because our agency had failed to realize that the kids would be sharing a room until after we had accepted our referral and now they would not let us proceed as planned.  This is NOT AN ISSUE TO WORRY ABOUT.  I know this.  I knew it last night.  We specifically asked early on in the process, and both AAI and our homestudy agency told us that they were fine with kids in our requested age range sharing a room due to their young age.  Brent and I do not plan on renting this house for too many years beyond this, despite how much we love it, and will move up to a 3 bedroom in our next move.

Regardless, it seems the adoption is starting to stress me out a bit.  (Don't worry - I am keeping my promise - no whining - just processing) I have heard from many people that have adopted before us that this stage, the stage where you know who your children are and are just waiting for everything to fall into place so they can come home, is the hardest.  For some reason I did not think that it would be for me.  I thought the waiting to find out who they were would be the most challenging - I hate not knowing.  I just want to know immediately; waiting doesn't make the information any sweeter to me.  But then again, we didn't really wait to find out who our children were at all.  The day after our homestudy was complete our agency told us about Elsa and we began the journey of learning about her and, shortly after, Asegre.

I guess there must be some sort of subconscious feeling that just leaves you uneasy until they come home.  The "what ifs" creep in at night, even when you feel comfortable with it all during the day, and you can't sleep.  Guess I'll have to just accept that this is a very normal part of the process and somehow figure out how to make sure I can sleep.

I do have to admit that the short timeline we have found ourselves working with has put the pressure on.  I learned late last week that we need to get the kids' Welcome Bags put together and send them to Washington state by September 10th so the director of AAI can take them with her on her next trip to Ethiopia and give them to Elsa and Asegre (and let them know that we are their new family).  This set in motion a frantic series of events, all with the goal of being able to take a picture of the kids' room so they can start to imagine their impending lives in Ventura:

• Brent had to finish up the chicken coop (which needed to be done anyway as the chickens had grown A LOT) so we could move the chickens out of their kiddie pool in the garage and some of our old furniture out of the kids' room and into the garage.  
• We bought new twin beds and mattresses from a somewhat creepy guy on Craigslist (the beds have never been used though and we good a really good deal).  
• I went to IKEA down in L.A. and bought bedding - super cute and inexpensive.
• We started painting their room on Sunday.  We chose some great, bright colors (torquoise and with a an orange stripe on the bottom- I'm not one for pastel kids rooms), but realized after the fact that the colors we chose are horrible to work with.  We painted all day on Sunday and more last night.  We have put 4 layers of the orange on the walls now and it still doesn't look perfect, but I think we're done because we're out of paint.  I'll see what Brent says when he gets home tonight.  
• While we were waiting for the paint to dry on Sunday, we gathered photos for their photo books and uploaded them on Snapfish.  
• Hopefully, we can pull the tape, set up their beds and snap a picture to include in their photo albums for their welcome bags.

In the meantime, we asked our friend Linsey, who is a graphic designer, to design custom t-shirts for the kids.  The t-shirts will be included in the welcome bags and the kids will wear them to announce to their orphanages that they have an adoptive family.  We gave Lins very little time to work with, but nonetheless, she came up with an awesome design!  She even included a photo of Buster and Lola in the design.  The shirts are scheduled to arrive on September 2nd.  Check out the shirt design below.

We also need to write short letters to the kids and find a couple of small toys, but that shouldn't be too hard.

And that's just the welcome bags.  There is so much more we need to do to get ready.  Not to mention, we still need to raise some more money for our plane tickets to Ethiopia - our shorter timeline is definitely going to make that a more of a challenge than we had anticipated.  We had originally thought we would have an extra 6 months or so while waiting for a referral to raise extra money.  I am currently working on a grant application for a grant from an organization that tries to make the up front costs of adoption more reasonable - keep your fingers crossed on that one.

So, yes, there is stress and I must be feeling fatigued.  However, all I have to do is look at the kids' pictures and I know its worth it.  I know that they are our kids and that we are supposed to be together.  I know that it will all come together as it is supposed to - it always does (I just need to repeat this mantra to myself at 3 AM).

(Sorry for the babbling nature of this post - I am still pretty sleep deprived.)

Workin' Overtime...and it Pays!

Passing out w/Dolly after another long day.

This post is ode to my hard workin' husband. One of the reasons he doesn't get around to writing anything on this blog is because he is working his butt off to help us raise extra money for the adoption. For the past month or more he has been working a normal 40 hour work week only to pack up his tools from his real job to head off to a side job - both on nights and weekends. Right now, as I type he is across the street at the neighbors hanging some closet doors and putting in some shelving. Once he starts on a project, he usually has a hard time finishing because he does such a good job that the homeowner keeps adding to the list of things they would like done around the house.

Well, its been paying off - he's made over $2,000 extra for the adoption - and last night it paid off big. At his company's summer BBQ, Brent was awarded the title of Allen Associates' 2010 Green Innovator. Apparently, his company hasn't noticed that he's been burning the candle at both ends. They have been really impressed with all of the work he has done to launch a new division within the company - the Home Performance Division (home energy audits and retrofits). For his efforts they gave him a $500 gift card to the Sycamore Mineral Springs Resort. This just happens to be where we went for our honeymoon. I'll be booking a stay for our second wedding anniversary tonight! So, if you happen to see Brenty around, and he looks really tired, congratulate him on his award (he'll perk right up) and let him know that he is already one awesome dad.

Oh, and if you know of anyone that needs some carpentry work done around the house, give us a call. You'll be hiring the services of one talented green builder and helping us bring home some pretty special kiddos :).