A New Year: Clean Couches, Colorful Names, & Welcome Books

For the past couple of weeks I have been having a hard time doing anything related to preparing for Ashagre and Elsa’s homecoming, despite the fact that there is still a sizeable list of things I would like to get done prior to their arrival. I think I have just been missing the kids so much that it is too hard to think about them as I take care of whatever needs to be done on the list.

However, it’s now a new year and (hopefully) the month we will get to travel to bring them home (if we travel at the end of the month, they might actually arrive home in February). On January 1st I woke up and started checking things off the list again. It felt pretty good.

First item on the list? Steam-cleaning the couches. Yep, that was my first accomplishment of 2011. I am not sure what that says about the rest of my upcoming year, but it sure is nice to have the couches free of dog grime again. We keep the couches covered and vacuum them weekly, but the dogs still manage to make them pretty gross over time. (Yes, we could probably just not allow them on the couches, but taking that right away once it’s been granted would be pretty tough – you should have seen Buster try to push his way into the living room so he could secure his favorite spot on a couch while we were waiting for them to dry. Plus, anyone that has had the privilege of snuggling with a snoring Pitbull on a cold evening knows the cleaning requirements are well worth it.) I am sure that Ashagre and Elsa won’t even notice the clean couches, but I can rest easy knowing they’ll have a clean place to play, lounge, and snuggle with their momma (and Buster and Lola).

I also finished painting the kids’ names for their room. They will be sharing a room for the time being (next major goal after completing the adoption: buy a house?), and I want to make sure they each have their own piece of space in that cozy and colorful room. I bought the letters and way too much paint at Michael's months ago. I nearly finished Elsa’s name, but then decided I didn’t like some orange stripes I had added and, instead of fixing the problem, just gave up completely. I hadn’t started on Ashagre’s name because we were waiting to make sure we had the spelling (and the pronunciation for that matter) right first. Last night I finished up all 11 letters. Now I just have to figure out where I want to hang them in their room.

It's hard to tell in this photo, but Elsa's name has turquoise dots on the
pink letters.

But the accomplishment I really wanted to write about tonight was the completion of the kids’ Welcome Books. Back in September you might remember that we sent the kids Welcome Bags that contained, among other things, small photo albums introducing ourselves and our home to the kids. The Welcome Books kind of stem from a similar idea. A lot of reading I have done on parenting adopted children suggests that you should help them understand what is going to happen next in their lives as much as possible. It makes sense. Children that have experienced instability or a lot of major transitions can feel pretty out of control of their lives. Prepared with the knowledge of what is going to happen to them next, they can relax and enjoy the present moment – something very necessary for bonding/attachment and just general well-being.

While Brent and I are ecstatic about the opportunity to finally bring the kids home we also realize that it will likely be a very scary and potentially traumatic experience for them. They will be traveling half-way around the world with two people they barely know who don’t look like them and speak a different language. They will be leaving the familiarity of their orphanages and the people who love and care for them there. When they arrive in America they will be expected to take in new sights, sounds, smells, food, routines, and people, among a whole host of other things.

Think of how tough and unsettling it can be for us as adults to travel to a foreign country and adjust to all the new experiences, even when we have made the conscious choice to do this (remember, this is coming from someone that loves to travel). Now imagine those same feelings we experience as adults from the perspective of a 5-6 year old child that really doesn’t even completely comprehend what is going on. While they know that we are their new parents and that they will be coming to live with us in America, I really can’t even begin to imagine that they understand what that reality will look and feel like.

I put the Welcome Books together to give Elsa and Ashagre a simple, visual understanding of the trip and their new lives in Ventura. Each kid has their own book, unique to them. I hope to be able to have someone at the orphanage read them to them at least once in Amharic so they understand the story. Then I plan on pulling them out throughout our trip home (all 20+ hours of it) so they can follow along as events unfold. I am hoping they will find some comfort in their ability to recognize pieces of their new lives from the books. Hopefully it will take some of the scary surprise of the whole adventure away.

Here is a sample of some of the pages (sorry if the pictures are formatted a little funny. They weren't easy to pull off of Snapfish).

Introductory Pages:

Elsa's Welcome Home Book.  Left Page: We had A LOT of fun playing with
you in Ethiopia.  Right Page: While we were in Ethiopia we also spent
time playing with your new brother, Ashagre.

Ashagre's Welcome Home Book: Similar text as above.

Left Page: We had to fly back to America to wait until we could visit
Ethiopia again and bring you home with us.  Waiting without you was
hard.  Right Page: Very soon you will travel to America with us.  The
airplane ride is very long, but we can play games, watch movies, listen
to music, eat and sleep.

Sample "Story" Pages:

Left Page: This is our car.  When we get off the second airplane we
will drive the car to our house.  Right Page: We live in Ventura,
California near the beach.

Left Page: This is our house.  It will be your new home.  Right
Page: This is our living room.  It is the first room you see when you enter the house.

Left Page: We have chickens that live in our backyard.  They lay lots of
yummy eggs for us to eat.  Right Page: We also have two very friendly
dogs.  They will be excited to play with you.  This is Lola.  She's a girl.
She loves it when you snuggle with her and pet her.  This is Buster.  He's
a boy.  He really likes it when you throw the ball for him.

Closing Page:

Ashagre's Closing Page: We know it might be scary moving to a new house
with a new mom and dad and sister.  We will do our best to help you adjust
to your new life.  We are your parents.  We will take care of you.  WE LOVE
YOU VERY MUCH.

Elsa's Closing Page: Text similar to that above.

I hope these books help make the kids' transition just a little bit smoother.  It was pretty fun making them.  I can't wait to see the finished product.

If, for any reason, you want to check out one of the books in its entirety, you can check out Elsa's by following this link.