Good Parents or Good Kids?

Definitely good kids!  The kids were awesome on their 24+ hour flight to their new home.

All ready to go home!  Saying goodbye to one of the guards at the guesthouse.

In the van that would take us on our last trip through Addis to the airport.

I have to admit I had a knot in my stomach for the entire first flight from Addis Ababa to Dubai since Ashagre had a pretty dramatic meltdown in Bole Airport (in Ethiopia) before we boarded our first plane.  He was sick of waiting around the airport since we arrived too early and mad that we expected him to share his bottle of water with Elsa, even though they had shared a bottle of water with no problems the day before.  He decided he would let the entire airport know just how mad he was.  Eventually, an Ethiopian woman that worked for Emirates took him into a special little room and he came out with fist-fulls of cake and a small can of coke.  She smiled and told us that he would "be fine now."  While well intentioned, this was NOT helpful, because she very clearly rewarded him for his ridiculous behavior.  It was so apparent that he had been rewarded too - he had almost pulled himself together when he saw the cake lady again, looked right at her, and immediately started wailing at the top of his lungs again.  Brent and I have found that it is best to stay close to him but ignore his behavior when he is melting down.  However, I think that approach made many of the Ethiopians in the airport uncomfortable, and we started to feel like we were jerk farangi parents robbing this cute, wailing little boy from his country.   Elsa was her normal smiling, attention-loving self, and rode out the long wait in the airport like a champ.

A fun side note - we taught the kids how to ride the escalator at Bole airport and they thought it was SO COOL.  We rode the same escalator 5 times each with them getting more confident with each ride.  At one point, Ashagre got so excited that he did his little happy dance and shouted, "Yes, yes, yes!"   It's a good thing we practiced too because we had to ride several escalators/people-movers in the L.A. airport as part of a large departing crowd and they were comfortable old-pros by the time we got there.

Ashagre was pretty excited about the plane and pulled it together by the time we boarded our flight for Dubai.  The entire 4 hour flight from Addis to Dubai was spent pushing as many buttons as possible on the in-flight entertainment systems.  Thank you in-flight entertainment.   You definitely saved us.  By the time we got to Dubai, it was WAY past the kids' bedtime and both kids were dosing off on the shuttle bus from our plane to our next departure gate.  We grabbed some complimentary strollers at the airport, and the kids got a kick out of being pushed around in them.  I think we also avoided some major turmoil by not asking them to navigate the Dubai airport on foot.  The kids colored and whined a bit during our wait for our next flight, but nothing that wouldn't be expected of any kid that was up at 2 am.

The 16 hour flight from Dubai to L.A. really couldn't have gone any smoother.  The kids both fell asleep watching the first movie we put on for them.  The slept in all kinds of crazy positions for 6-8 hours (my favorite was Elsa bent at the waist with the upper half of her body resting on her seat facing the back of the plane with her feet still standing on the floor).  When they woke up I was sure they wouldn't be able to sit in their seats for the remaining 8-9 hours of our flight, but they totally did.  Thanks again for in-flight entertainment.  They watched movies and pushed buttons and did a little coloring for the rest of the flight.  The flight attendants on Emirates were awesome - super attentive and careful to make sure the kids' had new experiences throughout the flight.  They even gave the kids big hugs as we departed.

When we got off the plane, a fellow passenger commented on how well they did on such a long flight.  He then went on to say it was a reflection of our parenting.  I literally looked at him and said, "I doubt that; we've only been doing this for a couple of weeks.  We have no idea what we're doing.  They're just great kids."

Ashagre was so excited to see our car (he loves machinas) that he once again jumped up and down and screamed, "Yes, yes, yes!"  Both kids hopped right in their carseats with no protest and rode quietly (I think they were just soaking it all in) in the back until they passed out.  When we got to the house they both seemed a little shell-shocked but seemed excited to see their new home.

Meeting the dogs did not go so well - we didn't expect it too.  Elsa broke into a pretty uncontrollable sob when Brent let them out into the backyard, even though she was in the front yard with a fence separating her from them.  They are both VERY leery of the the dogs and we have the dogs confined to our bedroom with a pet gate right now.  Hopefully the kids will grow more accustomed to them over the next few days because the pups are pretty sad that they can't meet them (Lola is currently whining in our bedroom because she hears Brent and the kids playing in the kids' room) and we have really missed the dogs and would love for them to be part of our big happy family.

A couple of last tidbits before I wrap this up:

In the L.A. airport, a man working for security identified Ashagre as Ethiopian.  "Now that boy's gotta be from Sidama," he said to me, "Wondo Genet?"  Shocked that he had gotten so close to Ashagre's birthplace, I smiled and told him that Ashagre was from Sidama but that the town closest to his home was Yerga Alem.  It turns out that the man's mother was Ethiopian.  He spoke with the kids in Amharic and asked tons of questions.  It was our first experience being asked lots of questions about the kids' pasts.  I can't say that we did so well; in retrospect, I wish I would have protected their privacy a little more.  It was hard because this man knew Ethiopia so well and was so enamored with the kids.  I bet it was comforting to the kids to meet someone that could speak to them in their language after traveling for 20+ hours away from their birthplace.

As we left L.A. Ventura's lack of racial diversity became more glaringly apparent than it has ever been to me before.  The only black person we saw was a man in the back of a police car - both Brent and I shared uncomfortable glances as the cop car passed us.  We're definitely going to have to put in some work to ensure that the kids' have the opportunity to interact with and see people that look like them in their daily lives.

So that's it, we're home.  It's REAL.  No turning back now!

And...since we couldn't post any pictures from Ethiopia here's a couple of gratuitous shots for ya:

Chalk with Daddy.

Fun in the Land Cruiser during our trip south to Sidama.

Yes, she definitely knows how cute she is.

Puzzles!  Lots and lots of puzzles.

A family of 4.  We'll work on getting a better picture.  This one was
taken more as lesson for Ashagre then for a good picture.

A Smooth Day at the Embassy

All went well at the Embassy today.  The kids are all ours (legally they have been for a while, but now the US recognizes it too).  The kids should be clear to travel to the United States, and we expect to have their passports with their visas tomorrow morning.  We depart Ethiopia around 7:30 tomorrow night and are scheduled to land in L.A. at around 7:45 Friday morning.

I'm still pretty nervous about the flight home in terms of keeping the kids sane in such a small space, but we just have to do it.  The reward is too sweet on the other side.

We owe many of you phone calls when we get back Stateside.  I think I'll let Brent drive home (even though I hate being his passenger in L.A. traffic), and I'll start making some phone calls.  Any positive vibes you can still muster for a smooth and scream-free flight home would be much appreciated!

Our Home-Bound Tickets Are Booked

Brent and I have decided not to celebrate until the door closes on the airplane and we feel it lift off the runway, but we did rebook our plane tickets home today. 

We were not able to go to the Embassy today because they didn't have any openings for interviews, but we are going first thing in the morning tomorrow (Wednesday).  We should have the kids' visas either Wednesday afternoon or Thursday morning, and we're scheduled to fly out of Ethiopia on Thursday evening to land on Friday morning in Los Angeles.

The good news for today is that we rebooked our tickets home on our own rather than using our travel agent (mainly because it is a pain with the time difference), and I think we saved ourselves $600.  Our travel agent charges $250/ticket to change the tickets (for a total of $1,000), but Emirates only charged us $200 each for my ticket and Brent's and nothing for the kids'.  With Brent missing an additional week of work, this will be a huge help as we try to stretch our finances over the next month or so.

I am definitely getting nervous about the long flight with the kiddos (especially Ashagre, since he doesn't like being confined to any one space for too long), but at this point, we'll just do our best and buy our fellow passengers a round of drinks if it gets really ugly - whatever it takes to get home.

Fingers Crossed

We're going to the Embassy tomorrow (Tuesday)!  AAI received the official email today that our case (for both kids) is clear.  I guess we don't actually have an Embassy appointment, since one document was just finalized today, but Gail thinks we should be able to interview anyway.  So...fingers crossed, we might be able to fly out of Ethiopia on Thursday (assuming we can get tickets such short notice).

Besides feeling like we are stuck in an Ethiopian version of the movie Groundhogs Day, things are going well.  Ashagre's tantrums are really limited to bath time (only every other day) or when he actually gets hurt.  He still whines and squeals from time to time, but is doing a really good job of de-escalating himself before anything goes into a full blown hours-long screaming fit.  The majority of the time now he is a cute little stinker.  Elsa is continuing to come out of her shell and is even starting to test her boundaries a bit.  She's got a laugh that will make the coldest soul melt, especially when she's being tickled.

Yesterday we taught them how to play baseball (or a least hit large squishy balls with bats) and both of the kids are quite the sluggers - no tees or anything.  They love it, and we have been playing multiple times a day. 

On top of that, another family, the Nunez's, arrived, and one of their sons is the same age as our kids.  They have had a blast running around the guesthouse compound together.  Our kids have gotten pretty comfortable here and are more capable of playing by themselves (or with each other or some of the other kids), giving Brent and me a moment or two to breathe (we're literally talking moments, but we'll take what we can get).  Brent and I are also really enjoying the company of the Nunez family.  I think there will be California to Colorado and vice versa trips in the future.

So, keep that positive energy flowing.  Brent and I won't be breathing a sigh of relief until the wheels of the plane lift off the pavement at Bole International Airport, but at least that moment is starting to feel more tangible.

Time Keeps on Slipping, Slipping, Slipping

It's Saturday night (Ethiopian time) and we're still in Ethiopia.  We were supposed to land back in California 24 hours ago.  No such luck. 

The good news is that AAI's lawyer did a little leaning on the judge and she agreed to "unstick" Elsa's paperwork.  We should have everything we need for our Embassy appointment.  We were originally told we would go to the Embassy first thing Monday morning, with a possible departure home on Wednesday, but then were told our Embassy appointment will be on Tuesday instead, with a possible departure on Thursday.  The bad news is that nothing can be confirmed.

We want to go home!  The guesthouse is starting to feel pretty confining, especially since there are very few places we are allowed to go with the kids.  Ashagre really has no interest in hanging out at his orphanage, so our daily outing usually consists of one of the three restaraunts we are allowed to take the kids to.  The kids are getting kind of bored of the puzzles/games/movies here, and Brent and I are having a hard time inventing new games that we can teach them with our limited shared language (I tried hopscotch today, but neither of the kids wanted anything to do with it).  On top of all this, I have some sort of respiratory infection that has left me relatively voiceless for the past two days (I think my system is really irritated from the air pollution in Addis).

Oops, I think I officially fell into a whine.  I promised I wouldn't do that on the blog.  I'm done, I promise.

Hmm, how about some cute kid images?  One of the other familes staying at the guesthouse taught Elsa to say "Oh my baby!" and she walks around saying it non-stop in this adorable sultry, sickenly sweet sing-song voice.  Both kids are getting pretty good at saying please when they want something and we are starting to hear Mommy and Daddy off and on, rather than just there favorite pet names for us, anche (Hey You said to Mommy) and ante (Hey You said to Daddy).  Both kids are really starting to repeat English words when we say them, and I think they are starting to understand us more and more.  Our Amharic is also expanding daily. 

Ashagre LOVES puzzles and is getting pretty good at looking at the picture on the box and figuring out what piece he has in his hand.  He still needs a lot of help, but is happy to do puzzles with Mommy or Daddy for hours. 

We tried to take the kids swimming at the Hilton, but Elsa grew hysterical after I put her in her swimsuit and I had to take it off pretty quickly.  Ashagre wouldn't even put his trunks on.  They did enjoy playing at the playground, especially swinging. 

Ashagre gets so excited when something funny happens in a cartoon that he is watching that he jumps up, squeals at the top of his lungs, and runs around doing a little happy dance.  You have to be alert if he is sitting in your lap during a funny cartoon; otherwise you are bound to get an elbow, head, or bony butt somewhere you rather not.

Elsa tried orange soda for the first time the other day (don't worry mom, we told them there is no soda in America :)).  She took one sip, made a funny face, and asked for water.  Ashagre gladly drank her share of the bottle.  The entire world is really new to Elsa and it is pretty fun to watch her start to come out of her shell a bit.  She definitely loves her goofy dad.

Well, I should get back to the living room.  Puzzle number 1,027 is underway.  We'll keep you posted and hopefully will be able to announce our homecoming soon.

A Family of Four

I know, I said I would try to get a picture up of the four of us...I don't know if I can promise that will happen.  We aren't allowed to take the kids many places and the internet cafe with a SD card reader is on the no travel list.  We'll see if one of us can sneak away sometime.

BUT...we are a family of four!  We picked up Elsa yesterday.  Her and Ashagre are doing great.  Ashagre has been a wonderful "big" little brother since the moment she intruded on his only-child status.  He has been very helpful and cooperative and the meltdowns we experienced a few days ago are getting shorter and less frequent.  I think the kid is processing A LOT and is doing a pretty good job tackling it all.  Elsa is as sweet as can be, pretty independent and a little bit bossy.  She also was excited to put on her new clothes, although all the pants I brought are easily a size or two too big.  She's a tiny little thing.  Luckly one pair of shorts has those tabs on the inside so we can cinch them up and they pretty much stay up as long as she doesn't run too fast.

The visit to Elsa's orphanage to pick her up was very enlightening and tough.  We learned more about her past and even were able to take a few pictures of some baby photos they had of her (they wouldn't give them to us).  One of her house-moms cried pretty uncontrollably when she was saying goodbye.  We took pictures of her by her bed and with the house-moms and some of her friends.  When we were finished Elsa was happy to jump in the car and not look back.

We all slept together last night, and although I couldn't understand him, I am pretty sure Ashagre filled Elsa in on how it worked.  Something about Mommy and Daddy (we're starting to hear those words from him from time to time) and dogs (wousha) going woof woof.  That pretty much sums it up.  "We sleep between Mommy and Daddy and the dogs bark all night - you'll love it."

Brent and I really didn't sleep at all last night as we were pushed to the fringes of the bed and today there really isn't anything on the agenda so we're just hanging out at the guesthouse, playing soccer and velcro ball, reading books, coloring, blowing up balloons, going to the bathroom and washing hands, practicing our letters and numbers with the chalk on the driveway and watching movies.  Yes, its 10:30 AM and we have already done all of these things on top of breakfast and showers (or a face wash and lotion for Ashagre since he and I decided to comprimise this morning).

There is still no word on when we will be going to the embassy and at this point we're pretty much guaranteed to be coming home later than we planned - we're just not sure when that will be.  Brent and I are very ready to get the kids home and start our routine, but we're hanging in there and enjoying the company of our fellow adoptive families.  All the positive vibes you can muster to send to MOWA and the Embassy would be much appreciated.

We're Alive and Screaming

A quick update post for those of you that are worried that you haven't heard from us. We made it to Ethiopia with only a 1 hour delay on our flight out of Dubai. When we arrived we were immediately informed of some not so great news - that an unknown piece of paper was missing from Ashagre's file and we would not be going to the embassy on the 26th. We should be able to go to the Embassy on the 2nd, but may have to change our flight out of Ethiopia to depart a couple of days later than we had planned.

We were able to immediately pick up Ashagre and have been with him ever since. He was excited to see us and couldn't wait to leave the orphanage. He is very sweet and seems happy to be with his mom and dad. He loves his sunglasses and his new clothes and is quite the colorer. He continues to be a snuggle-bug, but is also coming out of his shell a lot. My favorite part of the day with him is just before bed when he snuggles into me and rubs my arm as he falls asleep.

The day after we arrived in Addis and picked up Ashagre we headed south to Sidama to meet some of Ashagre's relatives. He came with us and was quite the trooper. The trip took us to his home village (think mud huts miles from the nearest road reachable only by four wheel drive and a short hike), which was a very special treat for us, but pretty tough on him. It was definitely worth it, as I know the information shared and the pictures taken will mean the world to him later on. I won't talk much more about that on the blog because it is his story to share. We arrived back in Addis Friday evening. Today (Saturday) he has been testing his boundaries a bit and I am currently recovering from the second major meltdown of the day. The boy's got some lungs (hence the title).

We haven't been able to pick up Elsa yet. The adoption coordinator recommended that we not take her to Sidama to meet Ashagre's relatives because it would be confusing to her. That made sense to us, so she is still at her orphanage. Now it is the weekend. Brent did go up to her orphanage today to see if they would let him bring her back to our guesthouse, but they wouldn't allow it because they couldn't get a hold of the person that makes those decisions. We will pick her up first thing on Monday. Hopefully Ashagre hasn't gotten too used to being the only child.

The guesthouse we are staying out, the Ritmo, is operated by our adoption agency so there are several other adoptive families staying here as well. Ashagre has had a blast playing with his friend Yohannes, and Brent and I enjoy the shared experience - the understanding looks and pats on the back when one of us surfaces from one of Ashagre's meltdowns (which the whole neighborhood can hear).

So that's about it. I apologize for the lack of inspiration in this post, but I am kind of worn out. Hopefully it will give those of you that are worriers some piece of mind. We are doing well, loving our little boy and anxiously waiting to pick up our gorgeous girl.