Token

In one week we have found Little Miss E's picture in two widespread media publications - the City's quarterly newsletter and recreation guide (yep, that's her front and center in yoga class above) and the front page of her school's newly updated website.

Yes, she LOVES to have her picture taken, and her radiant smile, beauty and bigger than life personality are quite photogenic. I can't resist taking pictures of her on a daily basis. However, the whole thing leaves Brent and me with small, but hard to ignore, pits in our stomachs. Let me show you another picture from Elsa's yoga camp:

Notice anything? Yeah, and her summer camp looked the same, except Ashagre and she jointly solely represented the African American race among upwards of one hundred kids in all but one session when one older brown-skinned girl, who became fast friends with Elsa, was also enrolled in the camp. Ashagre's lego camps looked identical to the photo above. He, of course, was the only, although you may have assumed differently prior to dropping him off if you would have looked at the City's summer camp guide. It featured a front and center picture of our friend E, one of the nine kids adopted from Ethiopia residing in our community, participating in lego camp last year.

Here's a screen shot of the kids' school's new webpage (can you find Elsa?):

Here's a shot from Elsa's classroom on the first day of school:

It's busy (this is what school looks like when parents, and in the first week younger siblings too, are fully integrated into the classroom), but the pattern is not lost. Elsa is the only. I don't have a picture of Ashagre's class, but Brent and I quietly celebrated that he is one of two brown-skinned kids in his class this year. One of two - something to celebrate. I'm not certain yet, but I would guess that while most have one, it's the only classroom with two. Yes, each kid's classroom also has at least one bi-racial child and a small handful of other non-white races represented. Regardless, both the kids and I know exactly how many other brown-skinned kids attend their small school: nine. Nine out of roughly 300, three percent. 

Now the school would be quick to point out that three percent actually over-represents African Americans found in our community, who make up two percent of Ventura's population according to the 2010 census. When I arrived at a barely-attended meeting on diversity at the school late one night last year I was informed of this fact. The school is currently grappling with how to increase its hispanic population so that the school community more closely represents not only the largely hispanic neighborhood the school is located in, but the City and the County as a whole.

I remember when we first started exploring schools (back when all we knew of Elsa and Ashagre were their over-analyzed referral pictures). I was at first excited and then quickly a bit more guarded when I glimpsed their school's (old) webpage. It, even more so than the new one above featuring Elsa, prominently showcased a beautiful African American boy with a radiant smile front and center among a small handful of white children. Once the kids started attending, I often wondered how that boy's parents felt about his placement on the school's homepage. Now I know.*

As a white parent of two black kids I have become hyper-aware of the media that defines my kid's world. Brent and I are constantly trying to increase the number of opportunities our kids have to see a world that includes likenesses of themselves. But what about when it's not a likeness? What about when they are the token black kids in our community's media? On one hand, I'm glad they're not being ignored. People are noticing and including them in our world. But for what purpose? And how does/will it affect them? They are already acutely aware that the are often the only? How will seeing it in print or on a website magnify that experience? When will they realize what's going on and how will they feel about it then?

At the moment I don't really have any answers. Only questions.

*Note: this post might be interpreted as a criticism of our kids' school. That is not my intent (although I may question their choice in website cover pictures). We specifically chose their school because of its explicit efforts to build a community that truly sees and celebrates diversity. The fact of the matter is, Ventura does not have a large African American community, and our kids would likely be the only in any classroom we put them in. We feel that at least at their current school, the culture is one that doesn't ignore the fact and proudly includes all of its students and their families. Basically, if they are going to be the only (which Brent and I still need to think critically about), at least they are part of a community that recognizes it and celebrates them for their unique beauty and value. 

Second Note: Brent and I are concretely aware that we are the members in the family with the power to make decisions that increase or decrease the chances of our kids being the only. We know we have a lot of work to do and possibly some big decisions to make.