Status Update: Rainbows & Thunderclouds

It's 9:04 p.m. on Friday night. Brent has been asleep for at least a half hour and I am currently typing in the dark as he sleeps next to me; his mom is asleep on the couch in the living room (Yeah, a ridiculous amount of rent money doesn't get you much square footage in these parts. The kids already share a room, so when guests come they get to fight with the dogs for the living room couch.) I have to work tomorrow, since I somehow felt obligated to see the last of my How to Kill Your Lawn (also known as Ocean Friendly Gardens) classes through before completely cutting myself off from my previous job.

We're tired. We're tired and we're making progress. Last Wednesday I started my new job. Brent started picking up the kids from school that Friday. It has probably been one of the smoothest transitions we have experienced in a long time. People keep asking me how the new job is going and if I am stressed about the change. Every time it comes up I can't help but look at them with confusion and chuckle. In the scheme of recent transitions, this transition - from working on water conservation in the public sector to working on water conservation in the private sector - has barely even registered.

Overall, things are going well. In fact, if I am to evaluate how things are going on one factor alone - the most important factor, stated so perfectly and directly (seriously, I love people that can get to the heart of things as directly as possible) in this comment by Morgan on my Multicolored Flatulence post, things are going really well:

While I'm being bossy, let me tell you that I think coming up with a plan is a great idea. It doesn't have to be a perfect plan. It just has to help you make movement on this sentence: "one of your children is falling apart right in front of your eyes and your intuition tells you that you are doing nothing to help them, that, instead, you think you might be making it worse." Find a way to work on this. One step. 

We made a plan. In fact the plan had already been laid out before that post was even written. Over the past few weeks we've been carrying it out and its working. Really well.

Our kiddo that was falling apart has been happier and more regulated than they have been for many months. Since implementing the plan, namely diving into attachment therapy and acquiring the understanding and tools necessary to support our kid, said kid has had zero - yes zero - meltdowns before school. The average used to be somewhere around 98% in favor of before school meltdowns. This child hasn't even seen the therapist yet minus one 45 minute evaluation in which the therapist watched in another room through a video camera as we played together. This transformation is just from changes made by Brent and me as we work with the therapist to get to the place in our parenting we need to be to support our kid.  On the second day that I got the kids ready for school, said kid spontaneously burst out the front door pumping their fists in the air proudly (and maybe with a bit of surprise) shouting, "I'm happy! I'm happy! I'm happy!" as they headed toward the car. This same kid, who, just weeks ago could spiral out of control faster than an Ethiopian sprinter has, all week, been able to calm themselves down with just a little prompting from Mom and Dad (minus one isolated incident involving Lola and a coveted pinecone). Recently this child started identifying some of the big feelings they routinely have and calling them for what they are before regaining control and not letting the big feeling get the best of them. All of a sudden, I am enjoying parenting again.

So yeah, things are going well. We still have quite a few kinks to work out, and the therapist still maintains that things will get worse before they get better. Brent and I are having a tougher time than we anticipated switching schedules, but we're figuring it out and, most importantly, our kid no longer seems to be teetering on some sort of very big and scary edge. I'm certain there's more thunder in our future, but for now I'll bask in the cold, dim sunshine of a California winter.


The kids and I took these pictures with my phone two weekends ago when we were killing time in a Hollywood coffee shop waiting to get their hair done. Maybe its just the momma in me, but I've really grown to love these pictures because, if you look closely, you can catch a glimpse of their decreasing intensity (anxiety) and growing comfort and confidence.

If you're wondering why the majority of my recent
pictures of Elsa include this outfit, its because she's
just a little bit into it right now. I can't wash it fast
enough for her.

Handsome, cool, calm, and collected. This boy's got it
all, minus the toothpaste all over the front of his shirt.