Celebrating the Little Things

Tonight sitting around the dinner table our family celebrated two minor (monumental) victories.

Victory Number One: The kids went by themselves to knock on the neighbor's door and ask if the neighbor girls wanted to play with them. Six months ago we forgot to prep the kids on what you do when the next door neighbor unexpectedly invites you over and when we got to the doorstep they both panicked and bolted back to our house. We had a really hard time retrieving them and convincing them to go over to the neighbor's house at all. A few weeks ago they would eagerly go play in the street when the neighborhood kids were already out, but would not even consider going to a neighbor's front door and knocking on it.

On the ride home from the babysitter's they mentioned to Brent that they would like to play with the girls across the street, R and M, so Brent decided to coach them on how they might be able to make it happen. He explained that when they got home they needed to knock on the door and that one of R and M's parents would probably answer. They would then need to politely ask if the girls could come out and play and be ready for one of two answers: yes, or no, not right now. Brent carefully explained how the whole process worked with little confidence that it would actually happen.

When they arrived home, they demanded that Brent come with them across the street. He casually told them that they could either go across the street and knock on the door by themselves or play with each other at our house. After some grumbling and pleading they committed. When they commit they rarely back down. Brent cracked the front door and peaked out. He heard the girls' dad answer the door and he heard them talking, although he couldn't make out the words. The kids came back and reported that the girls couldn't play at the moment because their dad was cooking dinner, but that Brent should go across the street and talk to the neighbor. It turns out that the neighbor had a quiche for Brent for helping him hang their new basketball hoop the day prior. The kids were so proud of their accomplishment that I don't think it even really phased them that the girls couldn't play. I celebrated with them as Brent recounted the story at dinner time. It is so rewarding to watch them step out of their comfort zone and succeed. You can almost see their self confidence grow right in front of your eyes.

Victory Number Two: Elsa finished eating her dinner before Ashagre. Ashagre's eating style is quick and to the point. Vegetables and/or fruit first and then everything else. He talks very little when eating, rarely wants seconds and is finished before any of us are half way done with our plates. When done he usually prefers to clear his plate and move on to something else rather than hang out and converse. Elsa is one of the slowest eaters I've ever met. She will literally spend an additional 45 minutes at the table steadily eating after everyone else has had any seconds they might want and lingered for conversation. As you can imagine, this eating speed differential can cause some tension in our family - especially when eating out, particularly because when Ashagre's done, he's done and ready to move on to something else.

Now I have to put some caveats on this victory. Caveat one: we were having hamburgers - one of Elsa's favorite foods - and the only fresh vegetables she had to eat were the lettuce and tomato we put on her hamburger. Caveat number two: Ashagre was eating his second hamburger when Elsa cleaned her plate and declared herself full and finished. Nonetheless, Elsa finished eating before Ashagre! Brent did not let this fact slip by unnoticed. Oh no, he made a huge announcement with high fives all around. The kids were not lost on the significance and had fun celebrating. Even Ashagre expressed a level of surprise and congratulated Elsa - not something that occurs very often.

And Victory Number Three (because, actually, a more subtle victory also occurred right before bed): Our friend Chris, Uncle Woosha-Dog to the kids, dropped by unexpectedly as the kids were getting ready for bed and they didn't miss a step in their bedtime routine. When they had finished brushing their teeth and picking their clothes out for the next day they calmly and collectedly came out in the living room to greet Chris. Uncle Woosha-Dog is one of their favorite people on the planet, especially Elsa, and just the mere mention of his name (don't even think about mentioning his wife Laurie's name to Elsa) can send them into a hyped-out attention-seeking craze. Tonight it didn't happen - at all. They sat down and joined Brent, Chris, and I and calmly had a conversation about their winter break and Christmas. They shared some of their new toys and then Elsa read to Chris from her new book about Ethiopia. When it was time for bed, they said goodnight, didn't fuss that they wouldn't be getting a story, and went to bed after their customary hugs, kisses, and high-fives. That's it. Easy-peasy, as Ashagre would say. It was such a smooth visit and transition through an unexpected exciting event that I almost didn't notice we were witnessing Victory Number Three.

So there you have it, today we're celebrating the small things because sometimes its the small things that clue you into the fact that the big victories are occurring.