My mom and Brent have this joke from a few years ago that still makes us all laugh. It's really just a comment - "Dakota never was a willful child." This one sentence can send all of us, and probably most people that knew me as a little girl (and probably even an adult woman), into a bout of some pretty serious giggles. To say I wasn't willful is one of the understatements of the century.
Little Dakota was independent, headstrong, busy, opinionated, and vocal about all of it. (I'd like to think that I have refined a few of these characteristics over the years, but Brent may beg to differ). My mom describes a morning with me, say at age 4, like this: you were up slightly before the sun rose, rattling your cage (our family's first home was even smaller than our current little Californian bungalow and my parents caged my bed in up high in my room so I had a place to play below it) demanding that we start our day. The first sentence out of your mouth went something like, "So mom, today I thought we would take Ivy Dog for a walk and then bake some cookies, we can pick some carrots in the garden, then we can do some artwork, and then I think we should go to the Deep Creek and swim. I'll wear my Levi's and my blue sweatshirt. No, I will NOT wear a dress. We'll have soup for dinner. These weren't suggestions. I was ready to GO and that's what I expected our day to look like. I was not the kind of kid that would just sit back and go with the flow. I was busy, and inquisitive, and probably a little too smart for my own britches.
I have known for a long time (pretty much forever) that I had some serious karma coming in the kid department. The funny thing is, I always kind of attributed the inevitability of me having a busy and headstrong kid to biology. But karma doesn't work that way. Karma's karma. No biology is necessary. And so, I am now Elsa's mommy.
The kids have changed SO much since we first met them in Ethiopia - since we've brought them home for that matter. Physically they're changing. They're growing and carrying themselves with more confidence. Their personalities are definitely coming out. It is amazing to look at the pictures of them with us in the guesthouse and to think of them now. They're hardly the same kids.
Ashagre is nutty. The shy little boy that hung on the fringes of the large group of kids at the orphanage and avoided eye contact is loud and goofy. He cracks himself up regularly and has earned himself a few nicknames, none of which have really stuck (fortunately), but all of which are quite appropriate - Tasmanian Devil, Chip (like a chipmunk), and Captain
Umbi (umbi means I don't want to in Amharic
). He is constantly pointing at someone or nothing at all and ranting and raving in what we think is gibberish and then giggling hysterically. He shuffles around the house like a little wind-up toy. He loves to make goofy faces. Most days he has a grin from ear to ear, except when things don't go his way or he gets beat at a game of Memory and then he's pouting and screaming at the top of his lungs (but that's happening less and less). He is getting more and more confident meeting other kids and rides his scooter with the neighbor boys with ease. He tries pointing and shouting gibberish at kids on the playground, but that hasn't worked well so far. He still loves to color, do puzzles, and look at/read books and is becoming quite adept at legos. He can do any of these activities for hours. He is also our snuggle bug. Every morning after he wakes up and goes to the bathroom he climbs in bed with me and snuggles in as close as he can get. He'll whimper
ney, ney, ney (come) if I get up too soon. He makes sure to slip a few hugs in throughout the day and is always happy to snuggle up with Mommy or Daddy, even if he just got in trouble for something.
Elsa is our busy child. Like the little Dakota described above, she's up with the sunrise (and sure to wake up Ashagre who'd rather sleep in and wake up slowly) and ready to GO. She has no interest in easing into the day with some snuggling (although a quick cuddle is nice). She'd rather jump on the bead, do headstands on the pillows, pull the covers off and put them back on Ashagre, kiss Mommy's face all over, open and close the curtains several times and shriek with delight when she sees her Daddy, Buster or Lola, the chickens or pretty much anything. She also knows what she wants out of her day - when she wants to get dressed and what she wants to wear, what she wants to do (or doesn't), when its time to leave the house, when its time to go home from the playground, and what she wants to eat (no fruits or vegetables, thank you). She also thinks she knows what Ashagre should be doing at all times and is quick to remind him. She is VERY inquisitive and wants to help with EVERYTHING. She's quite impulsive - if told to wait (
koi) she'll shake her head yes and reply
ishy (ok) and then do exactly what you told her to wait to do 5 seconds later. If she's got a nickname its probably Sticky Fingers. She's got to have her hands into and on everything. She's not much for sitting still and likes things to change pretty rapidly. She is also very brave and still tackles new experiences with the same big eyes and smile that she had when we first met her. She's picking up English rapidly and can use many words in the right context after hearing them once. She's strong, coordinated and competitive. She runs up the big metal slide at the playground on her tiptoes with no hands and has no problem stealing the ball from our friend Chris that played pretty competitive basketball in college (she'll even throw an elbow if need be). She's also very ticklish and when she laughs, she laughs with every inch of her body.
Learning to be these two kids' mommy is mind-blowing, challenging, defeating, inspiring, exhausting, and heart-warming all at the same time. Ashagre's boundary testing and stubbornness can make the most patient of people falter. His snuggles, ability to forgive and move on, gappy grin, and giggles can melt the coldest of hearts. Elsa's impulsiveness, impatient demands and curious fingers would drive anyone batty. Her courage, openness, wise-for-her-age soul, and gorgeous smile inspire me daily.
Overall, both Brent and I have been blown away by how smooth this transition to a family of four has gone so far. We prepared ourselves to have our world turned upside down, and it has in some ways, but it hasn't been nearly as challenging, or trying, or disorienting as we thought it might be. If anything, the biggest challenge for me has been redefining my identity as a mom, but that's a topic for another post.
